PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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