the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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