be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
