I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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