it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
