that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
