what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
