lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Randomize
