I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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