R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
