dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
