i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
