Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
