He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
