we have pet lesbian snakes
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
