This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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