evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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