Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
