I heard we made out
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
