my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize