I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
