My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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