Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
