forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
