Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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