He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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