Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
this just has baby written all over it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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