You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
