So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
