Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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