How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
