Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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