Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
