So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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