I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize