16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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