I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize