dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
