Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
