cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
