I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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