i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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