I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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