Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
