arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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