Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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