we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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