mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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