Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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