I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
