Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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