arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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