so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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