Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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