If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And then my night got REAL pukey
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
