the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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