You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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