there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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