can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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