If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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