My Higher Power is John Stamos
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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